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#3744. Ever notice how abnormally confident the cashier's at McDonalds are? I don't want an attitude coming from some low- level, acne prone employee who's only oral obligation to me is "Do you want fries with that"

Bring me my burger bitch

#3766. When someone at work asks you how your doing, do you ever consider that they really don't want to hear an answer?

Me neither

#4930. She unbuckled my belt with the quickness and pulled me to her body with force. With the pleasure pain ensuing, I gaze up to the ceiling. The mirror on the wall tells me she's done this before...

#7667. It's hard to look manly when your sitting in your boxers

with a bunch of friends playing strip poker

with a girl wearing lots of bracelets and a smile

#8768. Every moment I sen out, I see seconds later appear...and it looks like it is really there - but then I wonder if the people at low-brow only do that to appease the egomaniacs like myself?

Can you see me?

#8879. Jiggly Puff had bowel movements on a shrub?? Wow. Cartoons have changed since Speed Racer

#10743. She said

"Your a worthless piece of shit, you know that. No one wants you."

I put my head down. Then she guided me to the bed and fucked my brains out.

#13884. I went up in the mountains in Arizona with a couple of friends to trip on Shroomz for the first time. I was the really loud obnoxious and talkative type. Three hours later I was really tired but because of the altitude I was still high. I retired to my tent to let my trip finish so I could get some sleep. Before I took the magickal shroomz my friend told me to go to the bathroom beforehand but I didn't listen. And I was too high and mighty to shit in the woods...but i had to go. The only ones still up were my best friend and her boyfriend. They were right outside my tent and complaining about how obnoxious I am when I'm high. So while I'm in my tent I'm trippin and thinking I'm Super MArio I laughed really fuckin hard and farted the fart to end all farts.

At least they stopped talking shit about me.

#15127. The professor paused, and for a brief second the entire class was engulfed with silence as the fat girl entered the room proudly adorning a Pillsbury Doughboy t-shirt